That Floating Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third season began, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly wilful parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.